Dementia Researcher Kasper Bormans: “Human Connection is the Best Medicine

From blowpipe to bridge building: how Kasper Bormans advocates for a radically different view on dementia

In an extensive interview with BrightVibes, dementia expert Kasper Bormans shares his mission to change our view on dementia. From his childhood pranks to groundbreaking research: a story about transformation, hope, and the power of human connection.

The Scientist in Wonder

Kasper Bormans introduces himself as a ‘scientist in wonder’, a title that perfectly captures his approach. But his story doesn’t begin in a laboratory or university. It begins with a blowpipe, bushes, and a nursing home across the street.

“As a little boy, I actually found it quite fun to hide between bushes and shoot my blowpipe at elderly people. I lived across from a nursing home. They’re ideal targets because they move slowly forward and can never catch you anyway.”

It sounds like an innocent boyish prank, but for Kasper, it became the start of a life’s calling. “But maybe it’s time to crawl out of those bushes and see what I can do for those people in return.”

An Exceptional Scientific Career

Dr. Kasper Bormans (37) from Leopoldsburg has had a remarkable scientific career. In 2020, he obtained his PhD at KU Leuven under the supervision of renowned psychiatrist Dirk De Wachter, after more than ten years of research into communication techniques and improving quality of life in dementia. He is currently a post-doctoral researcher at Maastricht University, where since 2021 he has focused on intergenerational research to improve the quality of life for both children and vulnerable elderly people.

His groundbreaking work was crowned in 2024 with the noble title of Baron, awarded by King Philip. At 37 years old, he is thus the youngest Baron appointed by the king in the country. The exceptional nature of this recognition was underscored by a royal visit to his exhibition “What Alz – From Ouch to Wow!” on November 22, 2023.

“Everything accelerated when we had an audience with the king. Two weeks later he was called from the palace that he would receive the noble title,” tells the fresh Baron. “What’s exceptional is that I receive this at a young age. If I had received this at the end of my life, I wouldn’t have done much with it, but now all my projects are taking off.”

The title also comes with a self-chosen coat of arms with personal symbols: the pear tree of his grandparents, his grandfather’s rocking chair as a connection between generations, a saxophone for the connecting power of music, and an inverted hourglass for the symbolism of the time given to us. His motto? “Scientist in Wonder.”

Dementia: More than memory loss

Today, Kasper dedicates his life to changing how our society views dementia. After his PhD research with renowned psychiatrist Dirk De Wachter, he discovered something revolutionary: dementia is much more than memory loss.

“Dementia is more than memory loss. There is also communication loss,” he explains. “We must not only look at the connections between brain cells that are lost, but also at the connections between people.”

This insight formed the basis of his research into what he calls the ‘shadow sufferers’ – the family, friends, and caregivers who live with the condition. “While awaiting the miracle pill, human connection is the best medicine.”

The shore that remains reachable

One of Kasper’s most powerful metaphors is that of the bridge and the shore. “You only start building a bridge if you can see the other shore. And that shore remains relatively intact.”

How so? Kasper cites figures from the advertising world: “80% of our behavior runs on the basis of feeling, intuition, and automatism, and 20% on the basis of reason and logic. So even if that 20% evaporates, we still remain 80% intact.”

This ’emotional person’ – that 80% – is the shore we can reach. It just requires different communication techniques than we’re used to.

From tsunami to swing: a new imagery

Kasper wants to get rid of the destructive image of dementia as a tsunami. “A tsunami is a hindering image where we immediately freeze in powerlessness. That takes away all reason to take action.”

Instead, he uses the image of a swing: “Inviting, always different. Because someone can differ in rhythm, we can also take the time to find that rhythm. And once we find it, we can choose to give the other person a push.”

In the backyard of a nursing home where Kasper regularly visits, there is now a special swing – an artwork that symbolizes his ‘resonance method’. The beautiful thing? “That swing has been there for two days and it’s suddenly full of children” from the neighboring daycare center, which had never visited before.

Techniques from unexpected corners

This is where Kasper’s approach becomes truly original. He studied techniques from the commercial world and applied them to care – not to manipulate, but to create real connection. “All these techniques have already proven their worth in other domains – body language, social psychology, and often also the advertising world. But usually they use those techniques to sell people products they don’t need. Then I think: can’t we use those techniques to do good?”

The yes-room technique

One of his most successful discoveries is the ‘yes-room’ or ‘yes-chain’. “The idea is simple: if you succeed in getting someone to say yes several times, preferably out loud before you make your request, the chance is also greater that person will say yes when you make your request.”

Instead of asking “Do you feel like going for a walk?” – which unconsciously invites ‘no’ – Kasper starts differently. When testing his memory palace app, it went wrong at first: “I asked: ‘I have developed a mobile application to improve the quality of life for you and meaningful others.’ That went completely wrong.”

The second time he did it differently: “Are there people who are important in your life? Yes. Do you also have photos of them? Yes. Is it okay if we work on that together? Yes.”

The echo effect: the power of repetition

Another powerful technique is the echo effect – literally repeating what someone says. Kasper learned this from well-trained waiters: “If you’re sitting on a terrace and you order a wine and a cola, you have two types of waiters. The less trained one will say ‘okay, coming up’ and walk away. The better trained one says ‘wine and a cola coming up’.”

The power of repetition lies in the fact that people like to hear themselves reflected in their environment. That gives a familiar feeling and creates more connection.

A practical example from Kasper’s own experience: “If someone says ‘My father thinks he has to call the pigeons because he always did that twenty years ago’, then I reflect the words. I say ‘the pigeons, we’ll go outside and call’. We looked at the sky together, we called, and we decided it wouldn’t be for today.”

The power of children

One of Kasper’s most beautiful discoveries is how naturally children interact with people with dementia. During a visit by elementary school children to a nursing home, he saw something special happen.

“A ten-year-old girl asks: ‘Why do you like living here so much?’ Those people say: ‘But we don’t live here at all. We live on the other side of the country.’ The girl looked at me thoughtfully and simply continued: ‘Okay, what’s your favorite music?’ And a positive conversation emerges.”

Later he asked the girl what happened. “She said: ‘That man says something that’s absolutely not true. Who am I to contradict him? Then I would hurt his emotional world.'”

A ten-year-old child already knew that – something Kasper had to explain to top researchers in the Alzheimer world the next day.

Intergenerational magic

“Children possess all kinds of positive characteristics that we as a society will need: cheerfulness, being unprejudiced, and they automatically seek connection,” observes Kasper.

What’s special about intergenerational encounters is what he calls ‘positive awe’: “A child looking at an elderly person actually sees someone who was already there before they existed. And in the opposite direction, the elderly person sees in the face of a child someone who will probably still be there, even when their own end of life is reached. It’s precisely in that shared awareness that the strongest connection emerges.”

A societal transformation

Kasper’s message is ultimately hopeful and revolutionary: “Dementia is irreversible, but the way we interact with others we can turn upside down.”

He dreams of a society where every child has at least one positive, direct experience with an unknown elderly person. “That way you change the whole society, because those children come to their own kitchen table with a different story than the stereotypes.”

Because in a world full of negativity about dementia “the positive stories are there, but they don’t get enough attention.” The media, he notes, can bring negative stories daily, but positive stories about dementia get too little space.

Practical techniques for everyone

Kasper’s techniques are directly applicable in daily life. He emphasizes that it’s not about spending more time, but about better using the time you do have.

Body language and posture

• Sit at the same level: “Radiating equality by coming to the same eye level”
• Avoid the ‘starting block position’: Not with hands on armrests and feet ready to sprint away
• Radiate calm: “Everything that leaves the vertical and goes horizontal gives the other person a feeling of calm”
• Sink into your chair: “As if you just came home from a long workday – that radiates calm”

Communication techniques

• The feeling of choice: “Prefer lukewarm or warm water?” instead of “Are you going to wash?”
• Sandwich with cheese or sprinkles? instead of “Eat your sandwich”
• Use descriptions: “I see you’re walking” instead of asking where you’re going
• Apply the echo effect: Literally repeat what someone says to make connection
• Create yes-questions: Take a truth or description and put a question mark after it

Thermal equilibrium

One of Kasper’s most beautiful metaphors for encounter: “If you throw an ice cube into warm water, it’s a matter of time before they find each other. That takes time, so that’s also in every interaction. Take those 60 seconds to sense what rhythm the other person is in and how you can swing along with that.”

Cultivating the playful attitude

Kasper now realizes the missed opportunities with his own grandparents: “Playing cards yields nothing, but precisely because it yields nothing, it’s very connecting to do.” It’s about activities that have no productive purpose, but do create connection: looking outside together, recognizing something in the clouds, or just being present without an agenda.

Casino techniques for perseverance

From the casino world, Kasper learns how people persevere despite setbacks. “Summarize your day in four words: one negative and three positive. That’s the positivity ratio.” The ownership principle also works: “By letting someone add a small activity to the whole – like peeling potatoes together instead of giving ready-made mashed potatoes – that person is involved and much more open to positive feedback.”

Science in service of society

“Science should actually serve society,” says Kasper. That’s why he didn’t stop at his 400-page dissertation, but translated his insights into accessible publications.

His books form a complete guide for better communication in dementia:

• “What Alz?” (2014) – His first book about the core of communication and the power of dreams in dementia
• “The Game of Imagination” (2016) – A surprising game that strengthens the connection between people with dementia and their loved ones
• “Making Time for People with Dementia” (2020) – A practical guide with 52 communication techniques to improve contact
• “Swinging to the Rhythm of People with Dementia – The Resonance Method” (2024) – His latest work on the resonance method

He also developed the mobile app MemoryHome, based on the technique of memory palaces, to apply the communication techniques structurally.

His mission is clear: “I try to make the other shore visible and encourage the immediate environment to build bridges and walk the bridges to the mental landscape of the other person.”

It’s not just about better care techniques for him, but about a fundamental change in how our society views old age and dementia. “Dementia is often presented as a tsunami approaching us. Then I think: if you want to dramatize it anyway, you can draw that tsunami three times as high, because it also affects the environment.”

Want to know more?

Inspired by Kasper’s story? On his website www.kasperbormans.be you can find more information about his books, workshops, and the ‘Game of Imagination’ he developed for people with dementia and their loved ones.

Kasper Bormans shows us that real care begins with real connection. And that connection? It’s always there – we just need to learn how to build the bridge.