You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. These 10 tips will help you have better conversations.
10 Tips to Have a Better Conversation
You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. These 10 tips will help you have better conversations.
Top 10 tips for a better conversation 1–5
Number 1: Be present. Be in that moment. Don’t think about what you’re going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don’t be half in it and half out of it.
Number 2: Don’t pontificate. If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.
Number 3: Use open-ended questions. Take a cue from journalists and start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. Try asking things like, "What was that like?" "How did that feel?" Because then the other person might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you’re going to get a much more interesting response.
Number 4: That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. We’ve all heard interviews in which a guest is talking for several minutes and then the host comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out of nowhere, or it’s already been answered, meaning the host probably stopped listening two minutes ago because he thought of some really clever question, and he was determined to say that. And we do the same thing. Stories and ideas are going to come to you. You need to let them come and let them go.
Number five: If you don’t know, say that you don’t know. Now, people on the radio are much more aware that they’re going on the record, and so they’re more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure. Do that. Err on the side of caution. Talk should not be cheap. Continued below…
Source: DailyGood.org
Top 10 tips for a better conversation 6–10
Number six: Don’t equate your experience with theirs. If they’re talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they’re talking about the trouble they’re having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job. It’s not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.
Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself. It’s condescending, and it’s really boring, and we tend to do it a lot. Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don’t do that.
Number eight: Stay out of the weeds. Frankly, people don’t care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you’re struggling to come up with in your mind. They don’t care. What they care about is you. They care about what you’re like, what you have in common. So forget the details. Leave them out.
Number nine: This is not the last one, but it is the most important one. Listen. I cannot be stressed enough how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop. Buddha said, and we’re paraphrasing here, "If your mouth is open, you’re not learning." And Calvin Coolidge said, "No man ever listened his way out of a job."
Number 10: Be brief.
All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in other people.
Source: Celeste Headlee’s Ted talk: 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation
BEFORE YOU SPEAK, ASK YOURSELF THESE 3 QUESTIONS
In ancient Greece, Socrates (the famous philosopher) was visited by an acquaintance of his. Eager to share some juicy gossip, the man asked Socrates would he like to know the story he just heard about a friend of theirs. Socrates replied that before the man spoke, he needed to pass the “Triple Filter Test”. Learn more.